


these (deadly) secrets were so hard to get out

by triggerhappyhope (starprise_entership)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: 1-2 but things go differently, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, but why not both? both is good, i’m a big sucker for cuddling, taka/mondo can be interpreted as romantic or platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23893852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starprise_entership/pseuds/triggerhappyhope
Summary: The dumbbell misses Chihiro just by a hair, and Mondo picks up the pieces left afterwards.
Relationships: Fujisaki Chihiro & Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Owada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 8
Kudos: 293





	1. Chapter 1

It took only a few seconds for Mondo to raise the dumbbell over his head and bring it down, but to him it felt like an  _ eternity _ .

The decision took a split second to make, rage surging through his veins. How–how?  _ How  _ could  _ Chihiro _ , of all people, be stronger than him? That tiny pipsqueak of a  _ boy _ , facing his biggest secret with such bravery it made Mondo recoil in disgust.  _ How _ ? Here he was; not only did he stain his hands with his own brother’s blood, he’d failed to keep his brother’s dying promise. And he  _ still  _ dared to call himself a man.  _ No _ . This had to change. He couldn’t be  _ weaker  _ than Chihiro. He couldn’t be a weak coward. He had to be stronger–stronger  _ stronger  _ **_stronger–_ **

Swinging his arm over with the heavy weight was no problem for him. He kept his vice-tight grip on the handle, so much that his knuckles were stone white– _ white, white, all he could see was blinding white  _ and soon it would be over, it would be over when Chihiro was lying at his feet in a puddle of blood–yes, that would show  _ him  _ for trying to be stronger than Mondo! Mondo was the  **strong** one here, strong strong  _ strong strong  _ **_strong_ ** **–**

And then in that last second before the dumbbell descended upon Chihiro’s head, Mondo looked into Chihiro’s eyes, open as wide as saucers. They glistened, begging for Mondo to  _ stop _ , because Chihiro was so very afraid and vulnerable and  _ defenceless. _

_ Defenceless! _

It was at that moment when rational thought kicked in again and Mondo realised what a  _ fucked up  _ thing he was about to do.

Meanwhile, Chihiro’s own survival instincts had allowed him just enough time to react to the swing. He backpedalled as fast as he could, scurrying barely clear of the dumbbell as it came down with an astonishing speed. As soon as he dodged it, shock overwhelmed him and he tripped over his own feet, landing backwards onto the carpet with a dull  _ thud _ .

Mondo opened his hand and let gravity carry the dumbbell. A sickening crunch followed as it hit the floorboards. 

The air was heavy with the sound of the two of them panting. Mondo kept his gaze low, not even daring to look at the boy he had almost killed.

“M-Mondo?” Chihiro squeaked, continuing to hyperventilate. “W-what’s...wrong?” 

Mondo saw that Chihiro was trembling like a leaf just out of his field of view. Guilt started to sink in, smothering him with a hand clamped over his mouth. “... _ Ngggh _ .” He finally managed to get out. “F-Fujisaki.” Mondo growled. “I need you to get the  _ fuck _ out of here. Don’t make me say it twice.”

Chihiro choked back a sob before hurriedly scrambling to his feet, making a hasty exit. Mondo was alone. Alone with the stew of despairing emotions within him.

He dropped to his knees, held his head in his hands, and let out a harrowing, twisted cry.

* * *

Mondo didn’t care that it was three in the morning. It was selfish, but the turmoil was just too much to bear, and he wanted no more of it.

Thus he jammed his finger into the doorbell button again and again, rousing the occupant of the room from his well-deserved sleep.

The lock on the door gave a soft click, and the door opened just a crack to reveal  _ just the man Mondo was looking for.  _ Kiyotaka peeked out, eyes still glazed over with exhaustion. “ _ Kyoudai…?”  _ Kiyotaka mumbled, the softest Mondo had ever heard him speak. “Is something the matter?”

“Something’s the matter, alright,” said Mondo through gritted teeth. It would’ve been obvious to anyone of sound mind that Mondo, with his prized pompadour in a mess and the darkened tracks of his smudged eyeliner running down his cheeks, was certainly not in a good mood. Perhaps Kiyotaka had been too sleepy to notice yet.

But then Kiyotaka rubbed his eyes, and blinked hard, clearing his vision. “You look  _ terrible _ , Mondo!” He exclaimed. “Would you want to come in?”

Mondo let out another groaned sob before his hammering heart and his adrenaline-fuelled mind directed him to surge forward and embrace his friend, seeking whatever comfort he could to ease the flurry of emotions that refused to cease. “You’ll hate me for what I’ve done,” heaved Mondo into Kiyotaka’s shoulder. “I-I...I nearly killed Fujisaki.”

“You  _ what _ ?” Kiyotaka’s eyes flew open in a rush, not believing what he was hearing. “What happened? Is Chihiro okay?”

“D-didn’t actually hit...him... _ no,  _ her...God, I’ve really gone and screwed it up now, haven’t I?”

A strong hand on Mondo’s back eased him properly into the room. “You need to calm down first. Go and sit on my bed while I lock my door.”

Mondo did as he was told, sitting down on the edge of the bed, his head still spinning. The click of the door closing felt a mile away, muffled like the sound of his own thoughts like was drowning underwater, slipping under–

“Do you want the lights on?” Kiyotaka was there, his voice like a strong anchor. “Or just the desk lamp?”

“Just the desk lamp would be fine,” said Mondo, waiting for the other student to navigate across the room to reach his desk. The light came on, revealing the meticulously neat stack of textbooks on the table, as well as the white envelope next to it. Kiyotaka’s brow was furrowed in concern, confusion and shock glinting off those striking red eyes of his. 

“As you were saying?” Kiyotaka prompted, settling himself on. “Would you want to talk about it?”

That burning shame rose to the surface once again, and Mondo couldn’t even bring himself to meet his friend’s eyes. “I almost killed someone who looked up to me...in a fit of rage. Over that secret that I was so desperate to keep.” He kicked the toe of his shoe across the carpet in front of him. “I fucking played right into Monokuma’s paws.”

Kiyotaka was quick to refute. “You–you, must have had a reason for it, right? The  _ kyoudai _ I know would never–“

“–We’ve been  _ kyoudais  _ for like, a day, how can you say that you know anything about me?  _ Taka _ , you just don’t see–you don’t see the  _ monster  _ I really am!”

“Well, I might not see it,” Kiyotaka crossed his arms, “then show me! Let me understand who the  _ true  _ Mondo Oowada is, so that we can once again bare our selves to each other, this time in the emotional sense, and achieve a greater bond in the process!”

Mondo slapped a palm over his face, giving in with a disgruntled sigh. “Guess I should talk about it anyway. Otherwise there’s–no guarantee that I won’t snap again, and then  _ really  _ go through with what Monokuma wants me to do. But you’re going to hate me,  _ kyoudai _ , don’t say I didn’t fuckin’ warn ya.”

“This whole  _ secrets  _ thing I nearly killed Fujisaki over?” Mondo took a deep breath, steeling himself. “Well you see, yours truly– _ Mondo Oowada– _ killed...yes,  _ killed _ , his own big brother, the only family he had left on this  _ shithole _ of a planet. I killed him cuz I couldn’t accept that I was never gonna be better than him, that’s what!”

Peeking through his fingers, he caught a glimpse of Kiyotaka’s crestfallen expression, and then shut his eyes tight at that despairing expression. “Daiya started the gang, and I was gonna take over, but there was just  _ so  _ much gossip. I knew what they were saying, they were saying stuff about how I was  _ riding on Daiya’s coattails,  _ that I  _ wasn’t qualified _ ...I was so  _ tired  _ of their shit! So on the night big bro retired, I challenged him to a bike race. Man against man, brother against brother, a fair fight to see who was greater!”

His voice quivered as he continued. The haunting image of that oncoming truck came back to him, as it did every night when he laid down to rest. “I didn’t give a  _ fuck  _ about my safety. I was just charging ahead, so desperate to show that I was  _ worthy _ of leading the biggest bike gang in the country! So desperate that I rode into oncoming traffic, into the path of a truck. I was gonna be roadkill right then and there, but Daiya...he...he shoved me out of the way, taking the hit for himself!”

“Daiya…” Mondo tried his best to suppress the sob rising in this throat, but his emotions erupted in a flurry and there was nothing he could do but scream in anguish. “As he lay there, dying...we made promises...man to man, that I was gonna keep the gang together...and so I  _ lied  _ about his death. Terrible scummy thing to do, but at least I had the gang’s respect!”

“Not a single goddamn second since then have I ever felt peace. I’m a monster, lying about how my brother died just to fuel _my very own pride!_ _Taka_ –no, I’ve lost the fucking privilege to call you that, you see? I’m a weak coward. I’m _weak. Weak weak weak weak_ ** _weak_** and I was jealous of Fujisaki, how he–no, _fuck it_ , how Fujisaki faced the weakness Monokuma was threatening to expose to the world. Fujisaki wasn’t gonna despair over it like what I did. That made him the _stronger_ one out of the two of us here, and I wasn’t gonna take that lying down. So I took up the dumbbell, raised it above my head...and... _and–!”_

“Nearly killed Chihiro Fujisaki.” Kiyotaka finished the thought for Mondo, his tone solemn. “You did it out of jealousy. Because you couldn’t accept that Chihiro was emotionally stronger than you.”

“...Yeah.” Mondo hung his head. “So I’m a monster. Are you disappointed with what I’ve done?”

There was a moment of tense silence as Kiyotaka thought about what to say next. “I...I can’t say that I’m not at least a bit  _ startled _ ,  _ kyoudai _ .” Kiyotaka began, his hands fidgeting as he spoke. “But why couldn’t you approached me about this? If you had come to me at an earlier time, you wouldn’t have taken it out on Chihiro...Mondo, we pledged ourselves to each other! We were going to be  _ kyoudais  _ for life! You could have told me  _ anything _ and I’d try to find a way to help you out! What happened before...it can’t be undone, yes, but there’s still time to change! As long as your heart continues to pump and there is still breath in you, you can move on and make things better!”

“You really think so, huh?”

“Well, nobody got hurt, so you can still make amends! We could apologise to Chihiro in the morning. Yes, time is of the essence!”

“But Monokuma’s still gonna reveal our secrets sometime today. And that’s gonna suck.” Mondo finally peeled his hands away from his face. “The whole world’s gonna know I’m a murderer.”

“To be honest, I believe that is a bit harsh on yourself.” Kiyotaka noted. “From how you described the incident to me, I believe your brother was trying to protect you. He...gave up his life for you! Which means that he values you more than life itself!” Mondo stared at him, dumbstruck, but he could admit that Kiyotaka was right, in a sense.

“He gave you your chance to live, Mondo. I can’t speak completely for him, but wouldn’t he want you to live on with purpose? Your guilt holds you back from what you can fully achieve. Admit your past mistakes, and move forward bravely into the future! That is how we can all grow, to be the best we can be!” 

Those words would have sounded like lines stuffed into Kiyotaka’s morale-boosting speeches that Mondo tuned out before they became friends. Cliche words that were not much more than filler to lengthen a speech. But now, in the intimacy of their situation, those words hit Mondo deeply. Those words were directed at him, with all the genuineness and passion of his  _ kyoudai _ ’s soul. 

_ Damn straight.  _ That was what captivated Mondo–Kiyotaka was so bright, so honest; he always spoke from the heart. That blazing spirit, that iron willpower–he was so, so very strong in body and mind, and Mondo wanted all of that. It was worth admiring that Kiyotaka, though so strong in character, was never above showing his emotions, weeping openly when his emotions called for it. Everything about him  _ screamed  _ passion, as he felt so strongly about everything he found worth doing, and Mondo wondered, for a moment, if Kiyotaka would  _ love  _ him, in that way.

“I appreciate that you trust me enough to share your secret with me. That took courage, Mondo.”

For the first time that night, Mondo managed to smile. “Gee, thanks. You’re a really great listener too, you know?”

“Oh, that’s too much of a compliment,” admitted Kiyotaka, with a gentle nod. “But I shall continue to strive to improve myself as a friend, and you shall help me! Mondo, perhaps, since you shared your secret with me, it should only be right of myself to reveal my own secret to you as well!”

“Really?” Mondo scratched at the back of his head. “You don’t have to, if you don’t wanna. I wouldn’t wanna invade your privacy or whatever...”

“My secret...well. I wouldn’t say it’s quite on the same level as yours, but I certainly would not appreciate it being revealed.” He glanced at the envelope on the table, his name written across it in bold lettering, indicating that it could belong to no one else but the Ultimate Moral Compass, Kiyotaka Ishimaru. “Go on. Take a look for yourself.”

“Our secrets are going to be revealed to the world tomorrow. I suppose, to mentally prepare myself, I would start getting used to other people knowing my secret. And you,  _ kyoudai _ , are the best place to start. I wouldn’t trust anyone with this other than you.” Kiyotaka forced a smile, so wide and so stiff. Mondo knew it was to mask the shame of having his secret revealed, but he was still willing to help Kiyotaka go through with it. Because Kiyotaka wouldn’t trust anyone else but him. Mondo reached across the bed to get to the desk, swiping the envelope off the table and returning to his spot next to Kiyotaka. Such an unassuming, plain envelope, but within that envelope sat one of Kiyotaka’s deepest, darkest secrets. Bracing himself, Mondo took a deep breath as he opened the flap of the envelope, and removed the slip of paper waiting inside–

**Kiyotaka Ishimaru has feelings for another man.**

“That’s the secret Monokuma’s gonna announce to the world?” Mondo read the sentence over, trying to process it in his head. 

“I figured it wouldn’t be enough to let my secret be about my grandfather’s scandal–if that secret was going to be revealed to everyone, in the outside world...well, there are plenty of people out there whose lives were affected by that scandal. So it wouldn’t be much of a secret.” Kiyotaka explained. “I’ve lived my life as an honest man, Mondo. Whatever wrongdoings I’ve committed in the past, I’ve fully taken responsibility for them by undergoing the necessary punishment for breaking such rules. I hold myself accountable for these errors. So I feel little shame when I look back at them, for I openly acknowledge them and use those incidents as learning opportunities to better myself. The secret Monokuma used against me, then, was an error I could not accept the punishment for, for there were no concrete rules regarding  _ crimes of the heart _ !

“Mhm,” nodded Mondo, still trying to understand how someone could be  _ this  _ strict with morality. “A-and you’re ashamed of that?”

”I believe I am more worried than ashamed,” said Kiyotaka, laying a finger on his chin. “Monokuma seems to be intent on ending my political career before it had even begun. With that secret out, I believe my chances of having a successful career in politics would be...even lower than it already is, with my grandfather’s legacy and all.”

“Fuck public opinion, honestly,” quipped Mondo, familiar with this being his way of life. “You’re gonna be the best damn politician out there. You’ve got brilliant ideas up there in that big brain of yours. You’ll work your ass off to make sure you’re able to follow up with your promises. You actually give a damn about the well being of other people. So what if you’re, er,  _ gay _ or what? It’s not gonna cost you your whole career. And if anyone dares look at you negatively just because you like dudes–“ Mondo clapped him on the shoulder, “I’ll beat them up for you. Them scumbags have had it coming.”

Kiyotaka responded with a nudge to Mondo’s side. “All sentiments appreciated, Mondo, but I won’t allow you to use violence against anyone. Even if it is in my honour. I forbid it!” He commanded, the harshness of his tone dulled by his exhaustion. “I’m–“ He paused, yawning into his open palm, “–more than capable of taking care of things myself, don’t you think? Besides, I understand that I’m already far at a disadvantage due to my grandfather’s legacy, but surely, with enough effort and hard work, I can and will surpass him.”

“Doesn’t bother you at all that it’s a  _ guy  _ you’re crushin’ hard on, huh?” Mondo crossed his arms across his chest. “Just the fact that society’s gonna shame you for it?”

“Not at all!” continued Kiyotaka, “I would find it absolutely shameful that a diligent student such as myself...has my attention diverted away from my schoolwork just because of  _ those–those _ thoughts about that certain person! It wouldn’t change things if they were a guy, or a girl...or whatever they would want to identify as! Thinking about being with them is an absolute waste of time, if I must say.”

“So that’s why you’re ashamed?” Mondo exclaimed, finding Kiyotaka’s fierce dedication to his studies rather endearing. “Man, that’s...wow. But, ya know, there aren’t any classes or tests going on right now, not that what’s happening now is considered  _ normal  _ or anything, ya can really afford to loosen up and shit.”

“Someone still has to keep the order even in these unusual times, don’t you think?” noted Kiyotaka. “That’s what I’ve been put here to do, I suppose, as the Ultimate Moral Compass. It’s my job to lead everyone out of this terrible situation.”

“This sucks. I wanna get out of here.” Mondo cast a glance at his  _ kyoudai _ , whose face was scrunched up into a frown. 

“The more cooperative we all are, the faster we will find our escape route. And for us to act with clear minds...the sooner we get some rest, the better we’ll function in the morning.” concluded Kiyotaka. “So, how are you feeling?”

“Better, I guess.” Mondo responded, running a hand through his messy hair. “Talking with ya really helped. So we’re gonna have to talk to Fujisaki soon, huh.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

“Sorry ‘bout your uniform, though. When I was crying into it earlier.”

Kiyotaka was now aware of the dark streaks Mondo’s eyeliner had left on the pristine white fabric. “I have ten sets of uniform in my cupboard, Mondo. I’ll simply iron a fresh set in the morning to put on.”

“Who bothers ironing their shit anyway?”

“We can’t all be like you, running around with your hair unkempt and your uniform wrinkled,” managed Kiyotaka, stifling another yawn.

“Hah. Mine doesn’t even  _ need _ the ironing to begin with.” Mondo stood to leave, but in that second Kiyotaka had remembered something and was stopping him with a pointed finger and an outstretched arm. 

“You’re not supposed to be out there in the corridor at this hour, Mondo. Doing so would break our established nighttime rule.”

Mondo shrugged. “I’ve already broken it once, remember? Meeting up in the changing rooms.”

“Mondo.” Kiyotaka folded his hands in his lap. “It would be good to  _ not  _ consciously break the rule a second time.”

“My dorm’s just next door anyway. What did ya want me to do, stay the night?” Mondo smirked. 

Caught off guard, Kiyotaka let out a small noise that sounded a bit like a squeak. “–Well. Er, would you want to?” He flustered.

“Hell yeah!” responded Mondo, probably more enthusiastic than he was planning to be. “Geez. And you were all so disapproving when Asahina told you that she and Sakura shared a room one night.”

“That?” Kiyotaka’s eyes darted back and forth. “At that time I was under the impression that, Sakura, was a boy; but my initial assumption was proven wrong!”

“And it’s okay, to you, if two guys or two chicks share a room, but a guy and a chick together is just too  _ unwholesome _ ?” 

“Urk! That’s...just…”

Mondo strode over and gave Kiyotaka a rough pat on the head. “Jeez, loosen up, I’m just messin’ with ya. You’re my  _ kyoudai _ , remember? Why wouldn’t I want to share a room with you.”

“And I shall be sleeping on the floor! You, the guest, shall have my bed!”

“Bullshit,  _ kyoudai _ . We’ll both take the bed.” Mondo toed off his shoes and was just about to leave them when Kiyotaka’s harsh glare directed him to line them nicely by the door instead. “It’s big enough for both of us anyway.” Mondo stripped off his coat, bundling it up into a pile that seemed acceptably neat and leaving it on the side table.

“I should warn you, I toss and turn in my sleep.” Kiyotaka got into bed, shifting as far to the edge as he could to make space for Mondo. “Don’t be too surprised if I end up kicking you or falling off the bed.”

Mondo chuckled, sliding under the covers, shoulder to shoulder with the other man. “Kinda figured that, since you’re so full of energy during the day, you must be that kinda guy who moves around a lot in their sleep.”

“How much thought do you really give to my sleeping habits?” Kiyotaka reached over to the lamp, and flicked the switch to turn it off. With that done, he laid himself back on the bed, pulling some of the blankets over himself. Mondo felt the blanket shift under his arms–yes, it was certainly a sizeable blanket, but not quite big enough for the both of them, the way they were slotted next to each other. 

Perhaps Mondo didn’t need the blanket. He felt warm enough, especially when he could feel the heat radiating off Kiyotaka’s body. That conscious thought of his best friend sleeping beside him seemed to make him even warmer. God, was he  _ blushing _ ?  _ Not now, Mondo, not now. You’ve been talking to Taka about how you caused your brother’s death and almost killed Chihiro Fujisaki for the past half an hour. And now you’re blushing like a chick watching some crappy romance flick!  _

_ Damn, bodies are weird. _ Mondo rolled onto his side, leaving his back to Kiyotaka and bringing along some of the blanket with him. His companion stirred, evidently aware of Mondo’s movements. 

“Man, I’m sorry for wakin’ ya,’ Mondo couldn’t help but apologise. “Guess this blanket’s not big enough for the both of us.”

“It’s my fault anyway, not allowing you to go back to your room.” Kiyotaka sighed. There was a moment where Mondo heard him inhale, as if about to start a new sentence, but let it go. Whatever went unsaid lingered on Mondo’s mind, pestering him like flies in the summer. He wasn’t gonna just forget this and go to sleep. He simply couldn’t.

“You kinda seemed like you wanna say something,” prompted Mondo, hoping that Kiyotaka could say his piece and answer the questions that were currently on his mind. And then he could have his rest.

“ _ Kyoudai _ .” Kiyotaka’s voice had a soft tenderness to it, very unlike the way he normally talked, all rough and edges. “May I do something that is, in my opinion, completely selfish?”

That didn’t help to resolve any of the doubt Mondo was feeling, but Mondo felt that if he just pushed a bit further, he’d get his answers. “Well, yeah…? Whatever you wanna do,  _ kyoudai. _ ” He consented, hoping that Kiyotaka would stop beating around the bush and get to the point. His nerves were driving him crazy. Perhaps it was already the result of everything that had happened that night, but if he didn’t get a clear answer from Kiyotaka this second he was going to–

_ Taka what are you–oh. _

Mondo’s mind raced to keep up with the fact that Kiyotaka Ishimaru (!) his best friend and  _ kyoudai _ , now had an arm draped around his midsection, with Kiyotaka so close he could feel the softness of Kiyotaka’s cheek against his upper back. Was he...nuzzling? Yeah, they were affectionate (to the point of almost nauseating, from an outsider perspective), but never  _ this  _ affectionate. Mondo enjoyed their one-armed hugs as they went around practically  _ joined at the hip  _ for the whole day, but this was on a completely different level. It felt so  _ intimate _ . It felt so  _ warm _ . And somehow, as unexpected this gesture could be, it felt so  _ right _ .

It felt as if they’d done this in another lifetime. Something about Taka’s arm at his waist brought to mind the thought of taking him out for a late-night ride on his hog.  _ Damn,  _ he had to put that on his to-do list once they were out of here. He could just imagine it–speeding through his favourite places, Taka pressed tight against his back, holding on for dear life; the city lights fading into blurs as they travelled further and further away from civilisation, romantic like the flickering flames of lit candles…

“I believe you’re a good man, Mondo.” Kiyotaka declared, thoughtfully. “I want to believe in you.” He then went quiet, and Mondo felt the  _ brush  _ of lips against the nape of his neck–too fleeting for it to be deliberate, but Mondo wanted to  _ believe  _ that it wasn’t just an accident. Reaching down, he found the back of Kiyotaka’s hand as it rested against his stomach and interlaced their fingers.

“I know,  _ kyoudai _ .” Mondo let his eyelids droop shut, surrendering himself to sleep. “Good night, Taka.”

“...Good night.”

Mondo slept soundly for the next few hours, his sleep dreamless. When he awoke in the morning, he was pleasantly surprised to find the man he was so fond of resting in his arms, drooling onto his chest. Kinda gross, but Mondo found it kinda cute at the same time for some unknown reason. 

He wanted nothing more than to wake up like this every day.

For a fleeting moment, the world seemed just a bit brighter.


	2. Chapter 2

It was very unlike Chihiro Fujisaki to be late for breakfast.

Quiet shame kept Mondo’s head bowed as he waited. When a classmate came through the doors of the dining hall his sharp, pale eyes would flicker up to see who had arrived. And upon realising said classmate  _ wasn’t  _ the one he was looking for, he would dip his gaze back to the table in disappointment. This happened another five or six times until the clock struck eight. Mondo briefly took a look around the room. Chihiro was still nowhere in sight.

A firm hand on his shoulder helped shake him out of his thoughts for a moment. “Good morning, everyone!” Kiyotaka gave his daily welcome, standing as he did so. “It seems that most of you have been on time today, which is an improvement from the days before!” He announced, his voice filled with encouragement and pride. “However,” Kiyotaka continued, his smile turning into a grimace as he counted off his classmates one by one, “Chihiro seems to be missing.” He gave Mondo’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, as if ordering him to sit up and pay attention. “I shall bring someone along with me to look for her. Any volunteers?”

Mondo swallowed back the lump in his throat as he lunged forward and slammed the table with his palm almost immediately. This was Taka giving him his chance to make amends, and he wasn’t gonna miss it. “Me!” He yelled, probably too loud for comfort as several classmates covered their ears. “I’m gonna go.”

“Very wonderful, Mondo!” Mondo attempted to push back the thought of Taka praising him in the way a teacher would congratulate an elementary school kid who’d just finished a simple math problem. “I’d expect nothing less from my  _ kyoudai _ .”

With that, Kiyotaka declared the breakfast meeting temporarily adjourned until Chihiro was brought to the dining hall. Slipping his hand into Mondo’s, Taka led him out into the main hall, and then to the dorms where they stopped in front of Chihiro’s room.

Seeing the little pixel figure of Chihiro on the door made Mondo sweat  _ bullets _ . Shit, what if the whole thing traumatised Chihiro to the extent where he wouldn’t even bother hearing Mondo out? What if Chihiro just slammed the door in their faces? Or– _ god forbid _ –that the incident caused an already vulnerable Chihiro to be so distracted by his fearful thoughts that he wouldn’t notice someone else...attempting to murder him under the cover of night? 

Kiyotaka put his finger up to the doorbell button. “If she’s not here, we’re going to have to get help from everyone to start searching. I–“ His voice broke for a second. “–hope that won’t have to happen.” Mondo knew the implications of that statement.

He nodded, quite absentmindedly, as he stuffed his hands in his pockets in an attempt to calm himself. The doorbell rang once, twice, and then a  _ third  _ time; with each consecutive ring, Mondo’s fear grew–it was so overwhelming that he could hear his own teeth chattering, and Taka probably heard it too.

And then the miracle happened.

“H-hello?” Chihiro answered the door, clad in an oversized nightgown. He took a moment to rub the sleep out of his eyes, and then those eyes sprung wide open when he realised who had come knocking. “Goodness, is it breakfast time already? I-I’m sorry! I-I...I just h-had a bad night...and…” He looked over Kiyotaka’s shoulder at Mondo. Mondo felt even worse for the little guy when he retreated back behind his door. 

“Good morning, Chihiro!” Kiyotaka started, in that energetic tone of his. “Well, it is breakfast time, already, but–“ He turned to give Mondo a look of assurance before turning back to the smaller boy, “–Mondo has something to speak to you about. It’s about last night.”

Chihiro squeaked. “Y-you told him?!” 

“No! Not the part about your secret,” confessed Mondo, letting out a deep sigh. “About the part where I reacted, a-and…” He took a deep breath to ground himself. “I went to Taka to, er, you know, seek help from him.” Now, he supposed it was time. Time for what he had come here to do. It was time to  _ be a man _ and face the music. Mondo dropped to his knees, head bowed so low his pompadour came apart where it hit the floor. “ _ I’m sorry!”  _ He shouted with all his might, with all the guilt he held in his heart. “I, Mondo Oowada, give you my sincerest apology as a man! What I did...was fuckin’ messed up, and I...don’t expect ya to be able to forgive me. But…if you’ll give me a chance...I’ll explain everything! Everything!” Tears were clouding his vision, but that hardly mattered to him as he looked Chihiro in the eye. “I’m  _ really _ sorry.” 

Chihiro shot an apprehensive look at the both of them, still trembling like a leaf. 

“He’s been feeling...very guilty about it all. Please! Chihiro! Hear my  _ kyoudai  _ out!” said Taka, pleading on Mondo’s behalf. He, too, sunk to his knees beside Mondo, putting an arm across Mondo’s shoulders in solidarity. “Give us a chance, we beg of you!”

This was it. Chihiro was surely gonna slam the door and never talk to them again. He’d have broken his promise as a man. He’d have  _ failed  _ at being a man.

“Um...uh…” That was all Chihiro managed from his quivering lips. “I–uh...if it’s okay w-with the both of you...could you guys c-come in?” He pushed the door open. “I...I think it’s okay if you guys wanna explain it to me.”

“Thank you so much for being so understanding, Chihiro!” Taka said, his bright smile back again. He slipped Mondo his handkerchief, and helped lead the way into the room. Mondo dabbed at the corners of his eyes, praying that he could be calm long enough to get through this conversation.  _ Get it together, Mondo! It’s time to fix what you fucked up! _

“Uh, so I’m just gonna. Stand here.” Mondo said, leaning against a wall. “That okay with you?”

“That’s fine.” By now, some of the fear in Chihiro’s voice had subsided, and he sat down on his bed, facing Mondo’s general direction. Taka offered to stand as well, but Chihiro graciously offered him the desk chair, saying it was no big deal. Taka gave yet another round of thanks. Mondo was endeared by his ability to just be so...nice.

“So um.” Mondo cleared his throat. “A-About last night. I’m really sorry.”

Chihiro looked down at his feet that were dangled over the side of his bed. “C-can I just ask...why did you do it? Was it because...because I’m–really a boy?”

Mondo shook his head, grimly. “Nah. I’m totally cool with that. It’s just…” He glanced over at Taka, who had a befuzzled expression upon hearing Chihiro’s revelation. He evidently had little experience in hiding his emotions. “You wanted to become stronger even when Monokuma was takin’ your biggest weakness and threatening to show it to the world. I...didn’t have the courage to do what you did and that’s why...I was  _ jealous! _ I was so overcome with my...my  _ jealousy  _ and my  _ rage _ that...I couldn’t stop myself! I couldn’t stop myself from pickin’ up the dumbbell and smashing it down on your tiny little head! All because I was too much of a  _ coward  _ to even try to work towards getting over my weakness!” As the volume of emotion that bled from each word increased, Mondo kept his hands busy with Taka’s handkerchief, hoping that wringing it could ground him enough to stop him from lashing out again. 

“I’m so  _ weak,  _ Chihiro,” Mondo spat, his face contorted into an expression of disgust at his own actions. “So  _ very  _ weak.”

“But you’re  _ strong _ ,” sniffled Chihiro, coming up with a reason in protest. “Physically strong, I mean. And that’s why I wanted you to help me get stronger! So that I could be a man who stands up for himself!”

“You had so much emotional strength, kid.” Mondo admitted, disappointment closing over his heart like a clenched fist. “And I couldn’t take the fact that you were stronger than me in that way. I couldn’t accept that at all. And I’m sorry.”

“D-do you want to know what I think?” Chihiro clasped his hands. “Your secret must be, mm, something that affected you deeply. And that’s why you’re struggling to get over it. You must be having a hard time as well, Mondo.”

Now was about as good a time as any to let his secret out. Since Monokuma was going to let the whole world know anyway in less than twenty four hours. “I killed my own brother. That’s my big secret.” Mondo confessed, starting to get used to saying it out loud. “It’s all my fault.”

Taka inhaled deeply, sounding a resulting hiss through his teeth. “Mondo...we talked about it, and you don’t have to blame yourself. You know the truth and it isn’t what Monokuma made it out to be.”

“But that ain’t gonna matter! Monokuma’s gonna tell the world that  _ Mondo Oowada killed his own brother _ , and the gang’s gonna fall apart because of me. I couldn’t keep Daiya’s dying promise! I’m...just a  _ failure. _ ”

“You can move past that!” That was as loud as Chihiro ever got. “There's nothing we can do now to change our pasts. However...what happened in the past doesn’t matter as much as our willingness...to work on our weaknesses! You can still change, Mondo! You and me both!”

“You really think so, huh,” said Mondo, and he hung his head. “For you to look at such a  _ fucked up  _ person like me and say that there’s still a way for me...why? I don’t understand...I almost killed you, Fujisaki!”

Chihiro paused momentarily to think, and it frightened Mondo that he might just change his mind. “I want to believe in you.” He said, quite plainly. Nodding, he continued. “Taka and I…I think we both want to believe that you’re a good person. You’re our friend, Mondo!” 

“Chihiro is right.” Taka chimed in. “As your friends, we only want the best for you! All we ask for is your trust. Please trust us that when we say that we want to believe in you, our words are sincere. Right?”

Chihiro gave a determined grunt in response. “Mondo, I look up to you a whole lot.” He clenched his fists. “What happened last night...scared me a bit, but I still wanna train with you! What made you lash out at me was just merely one bad incident from your past, but we see so much more than that. We see the good in you.”

“Indeed!” Taka had never been so quick to jump in. “Your intense passion and your unrelenting determination are very admirable.”

“You care for those who aren't able to stand up for themselves.” Chihiro teased with a light chuckle. “How you confronted Togami when I was too scared to? I think...you've got to have a good heart deep down inside there somewhere.”

“You’ve been very helpful to the class efforts ever since we’ve been trapped in here.” Taka added. “See? We think you’re a good person. We want to believe that you can move past your past mistakes and come out of this a stronger person.”

“We can help each other, the both of us!” suggested Chihiro, a smile starting to settle on his face. “You can help me to get physically stronger, and I’ll always be happy to lend an ear to listen if you’ve got any struggles to get off your chest.”

Taka’s hand shot up in the air (and if they were really here at Hopes’ Peak to learn, Mondo figured that would be how he would react to a question being asked in class). “Count me in!” He declared, excited to be included. “There is strength in numbers, as they say.”

Chihiro got off the side of his bed and padded across the room to Mondo with his bare feet. “Mondo?” He had a hand extended to him. “Please? Can we just go back to training like nothing happened between us?”

Mondo worried his bottom lip with his teeth as he stared at Chihiro’s hand, inviting like a lifeline.  _ God _ , Chihiro was being so undeservingly forgiving. By all means, he shouldn’t have gotten his second chance. He'd fucked up once, but the thought of pretending nothing ever happened...would it snap him again? Mondo pondered for a moment, and then finally, slowly, inched forward to grasp Chihiro's hand.

"I'm honoured, kid. But not right now. After that whole shitstorm last night, I think I need a little time to cool down. Need a little time to think about it. Heh. Thinking about things. Haven't done that in a while." Mondo answered, gripping Chihiro's small hand tight in his own. "But I'll make you a man's promise - give me a few days and we'll get back to training harder than we've ever trained before."

"Right." The two shook on it. After a nod acknowledging that deal, Chihiro looked over his shoulder. "What about you, Taka?"

"Me?" The young man in question was taken aback, not quite used yet to being included as a friend. "Ah, yes!" He was quick to recover, striding over confidently to eagerly place his hand over the two which were already clasped. "I promise...that I will support the two of you in your personal journeys! I will be willing to lend an ear to whatever worries you may have, any time!"

"Thanks a lot, ya nerd," quipped Mondo, his usual composure returning. "And thank you so much, Chihiro. I promise I won't let you down this time."

Chihiro assured him with a bright smile. "I'm sure you won't." For a moment, it appeared that he was about to say something more, but he was interrupted by the growling of his own stomach. "A-ah. We're all late for breakfast, aren't we?"

"We are, but it was for a good cause." Taka retreated, starting to move towards the door of Chihiro's room. "Mondo, let us leave Chihiro for a moment to allow h-" Taka paused for a moment to reorient himself, "-him to dress and wash up!" Chihiro's smile brightened upon hearing those words, and for once he didn't feel as scared of his secret any more.

As the students trapped within the prison that was Hopes' Peak stood together against Monokuma and the mastermind of this  _ despairful  _ killing game, hope grew that day. It wasn't the blinding, bright-as-the-sun kind of hope yet, but the attacks that should have torn their class apart instead brought them closer. 

Towards a future that seemed so very far away, but was slowly growing closer with every new day.

They'd get there eventually.


End file.
